So, I think I would make a pretty good GM. I watch enough college football where I could draft pretty well. And I have noticed a wonderful trend that could save your team a wasted pick. Here is my #1 rule for the NFL Draft: DO NOT DRAFT WIDE RECEIVERS FROM THE BIG XII! Think about it- Who is the top Big XII receiver currently in the NFL? Well, let's see. Who are the top WRs? By 2010 Stats, they are as followed:
1. Brandon Lloyd- Illinois, Big Ten
2. Roddy White- UAB, C-USA
3. Reggie Wayne- Miami, ACC
4. Greg Jennings- Western Michigan, MAC
5. Mike Wallace- Ole Miss, SEC
6. Andre Johnson- Miami, ACC
7. Dwayne Bowe- LSU, SEC
8. Larry Fitzgerald- Pitt, Big East
9. Calvin Johnson- Georgia Tech, ACC
10. Santana Moss- Miami, ACC (though they were Big East when he played)
11. Steve Johnson- Kentucky, SEC
12. DeSean Jackson- Cal, Pac-10
13. Hakeem Nicks- UNC, ACC
14. Miles Austin- Monmouth...
15. Marques Colston- Hofstra...
16. Brandon Marshall- UCF, C-USA
17. Terrell Owens- Tennessee-Chattanooga...
18. Jeremy Maclin- Missouri, Big XII
19. Mike Williams (TB)- Syracuse, Big East
20. Johnny Knox- Abelein Christian
21. Mario Manningham- Michigan, Big Ten
22. Braylon Edwards- Michigan, Big Ten
23. Jabar Gaffney- Florida, SEC
24. Anthony Armstrong- West Texas A&M...
25. Percy Harvin- Florida, SEC
One. Just one. Jeremy Maclin, the #2 receiver on his team behind DeSean Jackson. If you are looking for a big time wideout, someone who can be a big threat for you, avoid the Big XII at all costs. Could there be exceptions? Maybe. Michael Crabtree, Dez Bryant, Roy Williams, Wes Welker. But they didn't have great seasons last year. Luckily, for those wanting a top WR this year, both AJ Green and Julio Jones are SEC products. Might have a better chance. No Malcolm Kelly's or Michael Westbrook's, just solid WRs that will move your team forward.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Slow Day...
Slow Day today at work and in sports. Here are some thoughts-
- People are still saying that VCU never deserved to be in the tournament. I disagree, just because they have proven themselves now, and Colorado and V-Tech didn't take control of their own destiny down the stretch. Interesting thought: The last time people were so up in arms about a small school getting into the tournament over a big school was in 2006. The team was George Mason. They made it to the Final Four also.
- If VCU somehow beats Kentucky in the National championship game, they would have beaten teams from all 6 major conferences. Amazing.
- One Big East team made it to the Final Four. No ACC teams. No Big Ten teams. No Pac 10 teams. No Big XII teams. Big East, SEC, Horizon and CAA. By the knee-jerk logic of the first weekend, when everyone (including the journalists on ESPN, excluding JA Adande and Jay Bilas) said that clearly the Big East was no where near the best conference in basketball based on their tournament performance, this clearly means that the CAA, SEC, Big East and Horizon are superior conferences to all others, right? Cause I am doing just what everyone else did, and not paying attention to the regular season or out of conference records either. Same thing. I get actively rooting against other teams or other conferences. I hate the ACC. People hate the Big East. Having strong allegiances is a good thing. But the numbers don't lie. They had the best out of conference record, and the best record against the other BCS conferences. The Big East was the best conference all year. The tournament doesn't change that. Were they a disappointment in the tournament? Sure. Do they still have a team in the Final Four? You bet.
- I am loving watching Charles Barkley pick against the Big East every game and be wrong. Kemba Walker is making the Round Mound of Rebound eat his words like a box of donuts and a Big Mac... then again, Chuck would probably like that...
- Yes, rooting for UConn makes me sick to my stomach... but I am doing it anyway.
- Congrats to Barry Sullivan, James Mitman and my brother Billy for winning the JFLANland Challenge. I know what you are thinking- there are still 3 games left, how could they have won? Well, The rest of the entrants can no longer score points, so they have the Top 3 set. I finished in 4th, content that I did not waste $20 in my office pool.
- Opening Day is Thursday! Like that the Nats traded Nyjer Morgan. I think Rick Ankiel is better now, and Roger Bernadina is better in the long run. He was very fun at times, but had no power and got in too many fights. His OPS was awful. We need our leadoff hitter on base as much as possible, especially with Werth, Zim and LaRoche as the 2-4 hitters.
- I love the Orioles' fire and smacktalk coming from Buck Showalter. I don't like their owner. I am not a huge fan or their rotation and bullpen. I don't like that they compete with the Yankees and Red Soxs.
- The Draft is less than a month away!
- Hockey regular season coming to a close soon. As a Caps fan, I am amazingly afraid of possibly playing the Rangers in Round 1. Terrified.
- Tiger still isn't back. There's your golf update.
- That Carmelo trade was supposed to make Knicks better, right? And was supposed to decimate the Nuggets, right? Welcome to the bizarro NBA.
- The NBA lockout should scare every college player, but hopefully it will lead to a better product next year. Were I a freshman phenom like Jared Sullinger, I would stay in school too. They are going to miss games next season. Be afraid. Stay where it is safe. Stay in school. Go to class. Get a 4.0 like Kentucky point guard Brandon Knight. Work on your game like Syracuse center Fab Melo. Enjoy your time being a college student like Jared Sullinger. The NBA will be back, just not next year.
That's all I got for right now.
- People are still saying that VCU never deserved to be in the tournament. I disagree, just because they have proven themselves now, and Colorado and V-Tech didn't take control of their own destiny down the stretch. Interesting thought: The last time people were so up in arms about a small school getting into the tournament over a big school was in 2006. The team was George Mason. They made it to the Final Four also.
- If VCU somehow beats Kentucky in the National championship game, they would have beaten teams from all 6 major conferences. Amazing.
- One Big East team made it to the Final Four. No ACC teams. No Big Ten teams. No Pac 10 teams. No Big XII teams. Big East, SEC, Horizon and CAA. By the knee-jerk logic of the first weekend, when everyone (including the journalists on ESPN, excluding JA Adande and Jay Bilas) said that clearly the Big East was no where near the best conference in basketball based on their tournament performance, this clearly means that the CAA, SEC, Big East and Horizon are superior conferences to all others, right? Cause I am doing just what everyone else did, and not paying attention to the regular season or out of conference records either. Same thing. I get actively rooting against other teams or other conferences. I hate the ACC. People hate the Big East. Having strong allegiances is a good thing. But the numbers don't lie. They had the best out of conference record, and the best record against the other BCS conferences. The Big East was the best conference all year. The tournament doesn't change that. Were they a disappointment in the tournament? Sure. Do they still have a team in the Final Four? You bet.
- I am loving watching Charles Barkley pick against the Big East every game and be wrong. Kemba Walker is making the Round Mound of Rebound eat his words like a box of donuts and a Big Mac... then again, Chuck would probably like that...
- Yes, rooting for UConn makes me sick to my stomach... but I am doing it anyway.
- Congrats to Barry Sullivan, James Mitman and my brother Billy for winning the JFLANland Challenge. I know what you are thinking- there are still 3 games left, how could they have won? Well, The rest of the entrants can no longer score points, so they have the Top 3 set. I finished in 4th, content that I did not waste $20 in my office pool.
- Opening Day is Thursday! Like that the Nats traded Nyjer Morgan. I think Rick Ankiel is better now, and Roger Bernadina is better in the long run. He was very fun at times, but had no power and got in too many fights. His OPS was awful. We need our leadoff hitter on base as much as possible, especially with Werth, Zim and LaRoche as the 2-4 hitters.
- I love the Orioles' fire and smacktalk coming from Buck Showalter. I don't like their owner. I am not a huge fan or their rotation and bullpen. I don't like that they compete with the Yankees and Red Soxs.
- The Draft is less than a month away!
- Hockey regular season coming to a close soon. As a Caps fan, I am amazingly afraid of possibly playing the Rangers in Round 1. Terrified.
- Tiger still isn't back. There's your golf update.
- That Carmelo trade was supposed to make Knicks better, right? And was supposed to decimate the Nuggets, right? Welcome to the bizarro NBA.
- The NBA lockout should scare every college player, but hopefully it will lead to a better product next year. Were I a freshman phenom like Jared Sullinger, I would stay in school too. They are going to miss games next season. Be afraid. Stay where it is safe. Stay in school. Go to class. Get a 4.0 like Kentucky point guard Brandon Knight. Work on your game like Syracuse center Fab Melo. Enjoy your time being a college student like Jared Sullinger. The NBA will be back, just not next year.
That's all I got for right now.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Hmmm... Interesting Bracket/Sports Thoughts
So, right after Syracuse lost tonight, ending their season, I realized something. No, it wasn't just that Scoop Jardine is overly-inconsistent, or that people love bashing on the Big East's shortcomings in the tournament, though they have just as many teams in the Sweet 16 as the Big Ten. No, it was that the people that seem to do the best in brackets are those that do not go to real NCAA Basketball schools. By that, I mean teams that do not consistently make the NCAA tournament, so everyone from the people that went to Division II or III schools, to those from BCS conference schools that just don't have good basketball programs, like South Florida, UVA, Northwestern or Oregon State.
I think I finally have found the reason for this- they don't actually care about the game. They pick based on their head, and not their heart. It is great if they are gambling. More power to them, because they usually win their office pools. But I doubt they truly appreciate March Madness the same way as someone from Duke, UConn, Michigan State, UCLA, Syracuse, Kansas or Kentucky. It is a weird feeling. For the most part, you will get your heart torn out with a crushing loss to a team you know you are better than. But, still, you made it to the dance. You had a 1 in 68 chance in winning it all.
I also had another thought. I have had a rough 12 months. And I think I have come to realize that sports are not the end-all be-all of happiness or sadness. Sure, it is a great diversion from your every day life. Lord knows that the Pinstripe Bowl victory for my Orange certainly helped make my New Years bittersweet instead of just awful. In the end, sports can make you amazingly happy, but you shouldn't let it make you miserable. I can't control that Scoop Jardine can't make an inbound pass. There is nothing I can do about Stephen Strasburg's elbow or the Capitals choking in the playoffs. My rants won't change how Dan Snyder spends his money. Is it fun? Sure. Does it help to get rid of some stress? Indeed. But it won't make a lick of difference to my life or the fate of these franchises in general.
Anyway, I hope your brackets are doing better than mine, if you happened to fill one out and put money on it. Mine is done, as always, because I blindly picked Syracuse like a good alum would. But if your bracket is doing poorly as well, then maybe you should take my tactic and not bet on it anymore. I now have that $20 to buy beer to help drown my real sorrows, but you lost $20 to your bosses 9-year old daughter because she really liked the nicknames "Spiders", "Wildcats" and "Aztecs". Hooray Sports!
I think I finally have found the reason for this- they don't actually care about the game. They pick based on their head, and not their heart. It is great if they are gambling. More power to them, because they usually win their office pools. But I doubt they truly appreciate March Madness the same way as someone from Duke, UConn, Michigan State, UCLA, Syracuse, Kansas or Kentucky. It is a weird feeling. For the most part, you will get your heart torn out with a crushing loss to a team you know you are better than. But, still, you made it to the dance. You had a 1 in 68 chance in winning it all.
I also had another thought. I have had a rough 12 months. And I think I have come to realize that sports are not the end-all be-all of happiness or sadness. Sure, it is a great diversion from your every day life. Lord knows that the Pinstripe Bowl victory for my Orange certainly helped make my New Years bittersweet instead of just awful. In the end, sports can make you amazingly happy, but you shouldn't let it make you miserable. I can't control that Scoop Jardine can't make an inbound pass. There is nothing I can do about Stephen Strasburg's elbow or the Capitals choking in the playoffs. My rants won't change how Dan Snyder spends his money. Is it fun? Sure. Does it help to get rid of some stress? Indeed. But it won't make a lick of difference to my life or the fate of these franchises in general.
Anyway, I hope your brackets are doing better than mine, if you happened to fill one out and put money on it. Mine is done, as always, because I blindly picked Syracuse like a good alum would. But if your bracket is doing poorly as well, then maybe you should take my tactic and not bet on it anymore. I now have that $20 to buy beer to help drown my real sorrows, but you lost $20 to your bosses 9-year old daughter because she really liked the nicknames "Spiders", "Wildcats" and "Aztecs". Hooray Sports!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Bracket Challenge!
The 1st Annual JFLANland Bracket Challenge is here. Join on ESPN.com, fill out your bracket and see how you do. The winner gets a PBR!
http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/en/group?groupID=95156&entryID=1807883
http://games.espn.go.com/tcmen/en/group?groupID=95156&entryID=1807883
Monday, March 7, 2011
The NFL vs The WWE- Part VIII- NFC West
And finally we come to the end of the saga. The NFC West marks an end to our comparisons. Its been fun. It has helped distract me while I am at work. It has taken a week to do because of extreme laziness. But hey, it is over now. So thanks for making these easily my most viewed posts in a while, possibly ever.
- Seattle Seahawks: R-Truth. You want to know why you are K-Kwik all grown up, Seattle? It is because you are constantly in the main event, or close to it, and I have no idea why. How do you keep getting to the playoffs? You got in this year with a losing record, and then shocked everyone when you beat the Saints. It baffles me. I am equally vexed whenever I see R-Truth in a PPV Main Event. Why? What does he bring that John Morrison, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus or Ted Dibiase can't do better. What, is it because he raps? John Cena raps better. Is it because he is black? Kofi Kingston is more athletic, and Mark Henry can at least sell being intimidating. JFLANland has no love for R-Truth, and no love for the Seahawks. I am sorry, but that's what's up.
- St. Louis Rams: Alberto Del Rio. Confession time. I don't like this character. Why are we supposed to hate him? Because he is a rich Mexican? Really? Are we that xenophobic, Vince, that you expect us to hate a Mexican just because he has more money that us? Wait.... don't answer that. I forgot about just how much white trash there is in America. Nevermind. (This is why Vince is a billionaire) Anyway, Del Rio is going to vie for the title at Wrestlemania. He is in the big time now. Are the Rams? No. But I see good things. They go from being the worst team in football to almost making the playoffs. Not too shabby. And Sam Bradford looks like a solid NFL starter, just like Del Rio looks like a solid heel. All the talent is there (except a #1 WR in St. Louis). Just take some time to develop it.
- San Francisco 49ers: Shawn Michaels. HBK was one of the greatest of all-time, but he isn't around much anymore. That is kind of like the 49ers. Can anyone argue they aren't a Top 5 All-Time NFL Franchise? (I put them with Pittsburgh, Dallas, Green Bay and Indianapolis) They were amazing. Ruled the 1980s, and won a title in the 90s. HBK became one of the faces of the WWE in the 1990s, and helped to take back Monday nights with Degeneration X during the Attitude Era. But now, he is retired. He is out of the spotlight. So are the 49ers. No QB, no heart, no playoffs. They are the HBK by the Bay, and we wish they would come back.
- Arizona Cardinals: Sheamus. Wasn't it just yesterday that the Cardinals were in the Super Bowl? Where are they now? Wasn't it just yesterday that Sheamus was the WWE Champion? Where is he now? I don't really understand the way they book him in WWE, but he was getting over pretty well as a heel. People seemed to hate him for some reason. I don't. I like him. He is Irish. Like, real Irish, not Northern Irish like Fit Finlay. He is solid on the mic and not a bad wrestler, right Fella? Plus, look at how white he is. He is like a glowing beacon of hope that pasty Irish kids can be huge if they wanted. We all liked the Cardinals too. Kurt Warner made them relevant. Then he retired, and down the tubes they go. Larry Fitzgerald is begging for a new QB. Marc Bulger, Kevin Kolb, maybe McNabb, any would do. It is just more fun when both Sheamus and the Cardinals are good. I want more competition at every level. Squashes aren't fun. So, AZ, find a QB. WWE, let Sheamus drop the stupid King gimmick and get back to just bashing people's heads in like a real Irishman. It'd be a great early St. Patty's present.
- Seattle Seahawks: R-Truth. You want to know why you are K-Kwik all grown up, Seattle? It is because you are constantly in the main event, or close to it, and I have no idea why. How do you keep getting to the playoffs? You got in this year with a losing record, and then shocked everyone when you beat the Saints. It baffles me. I am equally vexed whenever I see R-Truth in a PPV Main Event. Why? What does he bring that John Morrison, Daniel Bryan, Sheamus or Ted Dibiase can't do better. What, is it because he raps? John Cena raps better. Is it because he is black? Kofi Kingston is more athletic, and Mark Henry can at least sell being intimidating. JFLANland has no love for R-Truth, and no love for the Seahawks. I am sorry, but that's what's up.
- St. Louis Rams: Alberto Del Rio. Confession time. I don't like this character. Why are we supposed to hate him? Because he is a rich Mexican? Really? Are we that xenophobic, Vince, that you expect us to hate a Mexican just because he has more money that us? Wait.... don't answer that. I forgot about just how much white trash there is in America. Nevermind. (This is why Vince is a billionaire) Anyway, Del Rio is going to vie for the title at Wrestlemania. He is in the big time now. Are the Rams? No. But I see good things. They go from being the worst team in football to almost making the playoffs. Not too shabby. And Sam Bradford looks like a solid NFL starter, just like Del Rio looks like a solid heel. All the talent is there (except a #1 WR in St. Louis). Just take some time to develop it.
- San Francisco 49ers: Shawn Michaels. HBK was one of the greatest of all-time, but he isn't around much anymore. That is kind of like the 49ers. Can anyone argue they aren't a Top 5 All-Time NFL Franchise? (I put them with Pittsburgh, Dallas, Green Bay and Indianapolis) They were amazing. Ruled the 1980s, and won a title in the 90s. HBK became one of the faces of the WWE in the 1990s, and helped to take back Monday nights with Degeneration X during the Attitude Era. But now, he is retired. He is out of the spotlight. So are the 49ers. No QB, no heart, no playoffs. They are the HBK by the Bay, and we wish they would come back.
- Arizona Cardinals: Sheamus. Wasn't it just yesterday that the Cardinals were in the Super Bowl? Where are they now? Wasn't it just yesterday that Sheamus was the WWE Champion? Where is he now? I don't really understand the way they book him in WWE, but he was getting over pretty well as a heel. People seemed to hate him for some reason. I don't. I like him. He is Irish. Like, real Irish, not Northern Irish like Fit Finlay. He is solid on the mic and not a bad wrestler, right Fella? Plus, look at how white he is. He is like a glowing beacon of hope that pasty Irish kids can be huge if they wanted. We all liked the Cardinals too. Kurt Warner made them relevant. Then he retired, and down the tubes they go. Larry Fitzgerald is begging for a new QB. Marc Bulger, Kevin Kolb, maybe McNabb, any would do. It is just more fun when both Sheamus and the Cardinals are good. I want more competition at every level. Squashes aren't fun. So, AZ, find a QB. WWE, let Sheamus drop the stupid King gimmick and get back to just bashing people's heads in like a real Irishman. It'd be a great early St. Patty's present.
The NFL vs The WWE- Part VII- NFC South
Almost done:
- Atlanta Falcons: Kofi Kingston. Young, talented, gotten into some good feuds, but still a mid-card performer. Sure, the Falcons had a great season. They got a bye and hosted a playoff game. They also got their tailfeathers handed to them by the big boy Green Bay Packers. Much like Kofi isn't ready for the spotlight, neither are the Falcons. And no, this has nothing to do with me hating Matt Ryan...
- New Orleans Saints: Rey Mysterio Jr. They might not have the most talent. They aren't the biggest. But they have the biggest heart, and everyone roots for them. That defines Rey and America's real team, the Saints. I am sure even Colts fans were a bit happy that the Saints won the Super Bowl last year. How could you not be. They helped bring some hope back to a city that was destroyed by hurricanes and floods, and still has yet to recover. Drew Brees showed that the Saints were the little team that could topple Giants, just like Rey has done his entire career. Can you name another little guy that was so impressive that Vince actually gave him the title? I can't.
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers: John Morrison. A superstar that needs to be given a huge push because he is the most talented athlete on the entire WWE Roster right now. That is about what I feel about the Buccaneers. They are very young but might have the most talent of any team in the NFL. Mike Williams was a steal and should have gotten Rookie of the Year votes. Josh Freeman is the best QB from his draft class, even over Sanchize. and LeGarrette Blount went from being a jackass at Oregon to one of the best young running backs in the NFL. I mean, what is more impressive- Blount hurdling linebackers on his way to a 50-yard gain, or Morrison's awesome backflip-Rock Bottom thing (needs to be used more. It is the best finisher I have seen in a while. Certainly better than Starship Pain). I expect big things from both of them in the next few years.
- Carolina Panthers: Gillberg. Yeah... the Panthers are just plain bad. They can't beat anyone. They have no QB, WRs, injured RBs, a new coach, holes on their defense. Just like Gillberg, they are a joke. A cheap imitation of a real NFL team. Lucky for them, they get the #1 pick in this year's draft. Could that player be the new face of their franchise? Could he turn the Panthers from Gillberg to Goldberg? We'll see.
- Atlanta Falcons: Kofi Kingston. Young, talented, gotten into some good feuds, but still a mid-card performer. Sure, the Falcons had a great season. They got a bye and hosted a playoff game. They also got their tailfeathers handed to them by the big boy Green Bay Packers. Much like Kofi isn't ready for the spotlight, neither are the Falcons. And no, this has nothing to do with me hating Matt Ryan...
- New Orleans Saints: Rey Mysterio Jr. They might not have the most talent. They aren't the biggest. But they have the biggest heart, and everyone roots for them. That defines Rey and America's real team, the Saints. I am sure even Colts fans were a bit happy that the Saints won the Super Bowl last year. How could you not be. They helped bring some hope back to a city that was destroyed by hurricanes and floods, and still has yet to recover. Drew Brees showed that the Saints were the little team that could topple Giants, just like Rey has done his entire career. Can you name another little guy that was so impressive that Vince actually gave him the title? I can't.
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers: John Morrison. A superstar that needs to be given a huge push because he is the most talented athlete on the entire WWE Roster right now. That is about what I feel about the Buccaneers. They are very young but might have the most talent of any team in the NFL. Mike Williams was a steal and should have gotten Rookie of the Year votes. Josh Freeman is the best QB from his draft class, even over Sanchize. and LeGarrette Blount went from being a jackass at Oregon to one of the best young running backs in the NFL. I mean, what is more impressive- Blount hurdling linebackers on his way to a 50-yard gain, or Morrison's awesome backflip-Rock Bottom thing (needs to be used more. It is the best finisher I have seen in a while. Certainly better than Starship Pain). I expect big things from both of them in the next few years.
- Carolina Panthers: Gillberg. Yeah... the Panthers are just plain bad. They can't beat anyone. They have no QB, WRs, injured RBs, a new coach, holes on their defense. Just like Gillberg, they are a joke. A cheap imitation of a real NFL team. Lucky for them, they get the #1 pick in this year's draft. Could that player be the new face of their franchise? Could he turn the Panthers from Gillberg to Goldberg? We'll see.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The NFL vs the WWE- Part VI- NFC North
Keep on trucking to the NFC North:
- Chicago Bears: The Great Khali. Won a title. Huge, intimidating presence. Never really does much, even when given a good chance. That sums up the Punjabi Giant and the Monsters of the MidWay. To his credit, Khali (real name Dalip Singh), probably doesn't care at all. He seems like a pretty fun-loving guy, and is a movie star, appearing in Bollywood films, the remake of The Longest Yard, and is best known for being the giant assassin in Get Smart. Sometimes it seems like the Bears don't care that much too, or that they really don't want to win when they have superior talent. It is a shame for those in Chicago, but no one will take you seriously as a title threat any time soon.
- Green Bay Packers: John Cena. THE CHAMP IS HERE! True, Cena is not the Champ right now, but he will be in a few weeks as Wrestlemania, so it counts. The Packers are the best in the business and Aaron Rodgers is one of the new faces of the NFL. The Pack go out there and do it, week in and week out, for their loyal fans. Cena, whether you like him or hate him, does exactly the same, and loves every minute of him. That is why he is the top guy in the business right now. That is why the Pack are #1.
- Detroit Lions: The Corre. Much like The Nexus, they are a bunch of young guys who have yet to fulfill their potential. They are not as controversial, we could see ourselves rooting for them if it came to it, but right now they are kind of an afterthought. The Lions aren't there yet, but seem to make strides towards getting better each week. The odds are good both will be main eventing in the near future.
- Minnesota Vikings: Chris Jericho. A great team, a great wrestler. Just lacking direction right now. Sure, they want to be a great team, but they tried following an old man back to the playoffs, and it just didn't work. Now, they are Favre-less and QB-less. Jericho doesn't have any particular direction either. He has done it all in the wrestling business, has a somewhat successful rock band called Fozzy, hosts TV shows and award shows, has a new book coming out, and is on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. We are sure that where ever Jericho or the Vikings go, they will do well, we just have no idea where they are going.
- Chicago Bears: The Great Khali. Won a title. Huge, intimidating presence. Never really does much, even when given a good chance. That sums up the Punjabi Giant and the Monsters of the MidWay. To his credit, Khali (real name Dalip Singh), probably doesn't care at all. He seems like a pretty fun-loving guy, and is a movie star, appearing in Bollywood films, the remake of The Longest Yard, and is best known for being the giant assassin in Get Smart. Sometimes it seems like the Bears don't care that much too, or that they really don't want to win when they have superior talent. It is a shame for those in Chicago, but no one will take you seriously as a title threat any time soon.
- Green Bay Packers: John Cena. THE CHAMP IS HERE! True, Cena is not the Champ right now, but he will be in a few weeks as Wrestlemania, so it counts. The Packers are the best in the business and Aaron Rodgers is one of the new faces of the NFL. The Pack go out there and do it, week in and week out, for their loyal fans. Cena, whether you like him or hate him, does exactly the same, and loves every minute of him. That is why he is the top guy in the business right now. That is why the Pack are #1.
- Detroit Lions: The Corre. Much like The Nexus, they are a bunch of young guys who have yet to fulfill their potential. They are not as controversial, we could see ourselves rooting for them if it came to it, but right now they are kind of an afterthought. The Lions aren't there yet, but seem to make strides towards getting better each week. The odds are good both will be main eventing in the near future.
- Minnesota Vikings: Chris Jericho. A great team, a great wrestler. Just lacking direction right now. Sure, they want to be a great team, but they tried following an old man back to the playoffs, and it just didn't work. Now, they are Favre-less and QB-less. Jericho doesn't have any particular direction either. He has done it all in the wrestling business, has a somewhat successful rock band called Fozzy, hosts TV shows and award shows, has a new book coming out, and is on the next season of Dancing with the Stars. We are sure that where ever Jericho or the Vikings go, they will do well, we just have no idea where they are going.
The NFL vs The WWE- Part V- NFC East
Now we move on to the NFC East. I know, some of you have no idea what I am talking about in these posts, but a few people do, so I will keep going. This division is near and dear to my heart, so here it goes:
- Philadelphia Eagles: The Nexus. Certainly a force to be reckoned with, but has yet to claim the top prize. Got so desperate that they kicked out their strong leader that made them what they were for a charismatic and controversial younger star, returning from exile... The Nexus did it with CM Punk, kicking Wade Barrett out. The Super Bowl-less Eagles did it with Michael Vick, kicking my boy Donovan McNabb out. It is a fit. Still, no one knows how this team will do, but they are throwing all their faith behind their new leader, just like the young stars of the Nexus.
- New York Giants: Kane. The younger brother of the dominant Undertaker, who has won a title too, but everyone seems to forget it. When he is on, he is the best in the business. When he is off, it is almost painful to watch. Sounds just like Eli Manning to me. He is always overshadowed by big brother Peyton, even though they are tied with Super Bowl wins. The Giants have games where they look like world-beaters, then follow it up with dismal and disappointing performances. They are still intimidating, but are inconsistent. And no matter what, Eli will be compared to Peyton, just like in the picture below, Kane (on the left) can't escape being compared to his brother (right).
- Dallas Cowboys: Ted Dibiase (Sr. and Jr.): Doesn't the Million Dollar Man make sense for a team run by Jerry Jones. Nothing is out of reach, and everybody's got a price. Ted Dibiase Sr dominated the 1980s and 1990s as the Million Dollar Man, much like the Cowboys dominated the early 1990s and much of the NFL throughout history. However, this new verison, while loaded with potential and talent, just can't seem to get the job done. Ted Dibiase Jr hasn't gotten the job done either. He has great wrestling ability, but no character development at all. Can't rely on either to live up to the legacy of what came before.
- Washington Redskins: The Ultimate Warrior. Dominated in the past. Was fun to watch, tough as hell, and could beat anyone at any time. That was the Ultimate Warrior, and that was the Redskins of the 80s and early 90s. Then it all went to hell. Warrior got in disputes over money and left wrestling, become a super-conservative nutjob who pisses people off with everything he says. The Redskins were taken over by a nutjob who only cares about money and pisses people off with everything he says. Either way, neither Warrior nor the Redskins look to regain their once-great status any time soon. Warrior, however, was as tan as Mike Shanahan.
- Philadelphia Eagles: The Nexus. Certainly a force to be reckoned with, but has yet to claim the top prize. Got so desperate that they kicked out their strong leader that made them what they were for a charismatic and controversial younger star, returning from exile... The Nexus did it with CM Punk, kicking Wade Barrett out. The Super Bowl-less Eagles did it with Michael Vick, kicking my boy Donovan McNabb out. It is a fit. Still, no one knows how this team will do, but they are throwing all their faith behind their new leader, just like the young stars of the Nexus.
- New York Giants: Kane. The younger brother of the dominant Undertaker, who has won a title too, but everyone seems to forget it. When he is on, he is the best in the business. When he is off, it is almost painful to watch. Sounds just like Eli Manning to me. He is always overshadowed by big brother Peyton, even though they are tied with Super Bowl wins. The Giants have games where they look like world-beaters, then follow it up with dismal and disappointing performances. They are still intimidating, but are inconsistent. And no matter what, Eli will be compared to Peyton, just like in the picture below, Kane (on the left) can't escape being compared to his brother (right).
- Dallas Cowboys: Ted Dibiase (Sr. and Jr.): Doesn't the Million Dollar Man make sense for a team run by Jerry Jones. Nothing is out of reach, and everybody's got a price. Ted Dibiase Sr dominated the 1980s and 1990s as the Million Dollar Man, much like the Cowboys dominated the early 1990s and much of the NFL throughout history. However, this new verison, while loaded with potential and talent, just can't seem to get the job done. Ted Dibiase Jr hasn't gotten the job done either. He has great wrestling ability, but no character development at all. Can't rely on either to live up to the legacy of what came before.
- Washington Redskins: The Ultimate Warrior. Dominated in the past. Was fun to watch, tough as hell, and could beat anyone at any time. That was the Ultimate Warrior, and that was the Redskins of the 80s and early 90s. Then it all went to hell. Warrior got in disputes over money and left wrestling, become a super-conservative nutjob who pisses people off with everything he says. The Redskins were taken over by a nutjob who only cares about money and pisses people off with everything he says. Either way, neither Warrior nor the Redskins look to regain their once-great status any time soon. Warrior, however, was as tan as Mike Shanahan.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
The NFL vs The WWE- Part IV- AFC West
Wrapping up the AFC with the West:
- Kansas City Chiefs: Daniel Bryan. Not a big name, but a ton of talent. Young team, young performer. Won the AFC West, won the US Title. Both show promise. If Matt Cassell can go from obscurity to a playoff starter and possible future champion, what is to say that Bryan can't go from the Indy wrestling federations all the way to the big time? It could happen.
- San Diego Chargers: Mark Henry. Tons of physical ability and constantly under-performing. Mark Henry was once (legitimately) the World's Strongest Man, and competed in the Olympics twice. The Chargers have tons of physical talent, and put up amazing offensive and defensive numbers. It is just that, come crunch time, neither one follows through. Henry has only held two championships in his career, and the Chargers were destroyed in their one Super Bowl appearance. The promise has always been there, but not the finish. At least for the Chargers sake, their players are young. Henry's career is on the downslope, but he still comes out every week to entertain.
- Oakland Raiders- The Big Show. Known as Captain Insaneo to fans of The Waterboy, this man is a giant. 7'0, 450+ lbs. Agile for his size, strong as a bull, extremely powerful. All the measurable skills that Al Davis would fall in love with. He is a perfect fit. He was a dominant force when he broke into wrestling in the 1990s, billed as the next Andre the Giant (luckily for Show, he doesn't suffer from Gigantism like Andre. He is just very big). The Raiders won three Super Bowls in the late 70s and early 80s. Since then, they just haven't been the same. Show has his moments, but hasn't won the title in some time. The Raiders got back to the Super Bowl, but lost to the Buccaneers in 2003. They are starting to turn the corner now, and Big Show is still intimidating his opponents with his size and strength.
- Denver Broncos- CM Punk. Again, another team that has won in the past. Two titles under John Elway. Now, they are looking for a new leader, and might have one in Tim Tebow. CM Punk has won his titles, and is now leading the Nexus, preaching faith in him. Tebow might be nicer than the Straight-Edge Superstar, but both are natural leaders that command the respect of their followers. Just not sure if they will be led back to the championship, or deeper into obscurity.
- Kansas City Chiefs: Daniel Bryan. Not a big name, but a ton of talent. Young team, young performer. Won the AFC West, won the US Title. Both show promise. If Matt Cassell can go from obscurity to a playoff starter and possible future champion, what is to say that Bryan can't go from the Indy wrestling federations all the way to the big time? It could happen.
- San Diego Chargers: Mark Henry. Tons of physical ability and constantly under-performing. Mark Henry was once (legitimately) the World's Strongest Man, and competed in the Olympics twice. The Chargers have tons of physical talent, and put up amazing offensive and defensive numbers. It is just that, come crunch time, neither one follows through. Henry has only held two championships in his career, and the Chargers were destroyed in their one Super Bowl appearance. The promise has always been there, but not the finish. At least for the Chargers sake, their players are young. Henry's career is on the downslope, but he still comes out every week to entertain.
- Oakland Raiders- The Big Show. Known as Captain Insaneo to fans of The Waterboy, this man is a giant. 7'0, 450+ lbs. Agile for his size, strong as a bull, extremely powerful. All the measurable skills that Al Davis would fall in love with. He is a perfect fit. He was a dominant force when he broke into wrestling in the 1990s, billed as the next Andre the Giant (luckily for Show, he doesn't suffer from Gigantism like Andre. He is just very big). The Raiders won three Super Bowls in the late 70s and early 80s. Since then, they just haven't been the same. Show has his moments, but hasn't won the title in some time. The Raiders got back to the Super Bowl, but lost to the Buccaneers in 2003. They are starting to turn the corner now, and Big Show is still intimidating his opponents with his size and strength.
- Denver Broncos- CM Punk. Again, another team that has won in the past. Two titles under John Elway. Now, they are looking for a new leader, and might have one in Tim Tebow. CM Punk has won his titles, and is now leading the Nexus, preaching faith in him. Tebow might be nicer than the Straight-Edge Superstar, but both are natural leaders that command the respect of their followers. Just not sure if they will be led back to the championship, or deeper into obscurity.
The NFL vs The WWE- Part III- AFC South
AFC South:
- Indianapolis Colts: The Undertaker. They have been very good for a very long time. Peyton Manning is one of the best ever. The Undertaker is one of the best ever. You would think they would have both been dominant and have more championships than anyone, right? Well, it hasn't happened. Peyton only has one thanks to Tom Brady and Big Ben, and Undertaker is still behind HHH, The Rock, Stone Cold, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, HBK and a few others. Still, they are both dominant forces with amazing legacies. And I think Peyton has used some supernatural forces to not get hurt over all these years.
- Jacksonville Jaguars: The British Bulldog/ D.H. Smith. The British Bulldog was a solid wrestler when he was alive. The thing is, he never made it over the top. He just couldn't seem to find his way past the elite of the WWE. The same can be said of the Jaguars. They can't seem to get by the Colts, even when they are at their best. They will always be that #2 guy. Now D.H Smith, his son, is in the business and is a stud. Big young guy, but still unsure of his personality. Again, the Jags. They are rebuilding on the back of a workhouse runner in Mo-Jo Drew. The question for both is- do they have enough to make it to a championship?
- Houston Texans: Evan Bourne. Fun to watch. Exciting. High-octane. High-flying. Hasn't won anything, but everyone in the business likes where they are going, even if they haven't fully lived up to the hype yet. A perfect match.
- Tennessee Titans: Christian. Moments of glory in the past. IC titles, AFC title. Shots at being the guy, but just never worked out. Consistently OK, the perfect mid-card performer with some attitude. That sums up the Titans and Christian. Of course, Tennessee is going through some serious rebuilding right now, and Christian just came back from tearing his bicep (yes, he actually tore his bicep, wrestlers do get actual injuries). We aren't sure what will come of the two in the next year.
- Indianapolis Colts: The Undertaker. They have been very good for a very long time. Peyton Manning is one of the best ever. The Undertaker is one of the best ever. You would think they would have both been dominant and have more championships than anyone, right? Well, it hasn't happened. Peyton only has one thanks to Tom Brady and Big Ben, and Undertaker is still behind HHH, The Rock, Stone Cold, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, HBK and a few others. Still, they are both dominant forces with amazing legacies. And I think Peyton has used some supernatural forces to not get hurt over all these years.
- Jacksonville Jaguars: The British Bulldog/ D.H. Smith. The British Bulldog was a solid wrestler when he was alive. The thing is, he never made it over the top. He just couldn't seem to find his way past the elite of the WWE. The same can be said of the Jaguars. They can't seem to get by the Colts, even when they are at their best. They will always be that #2 guy. Now D.H Smith, his son, is in the business and is a stud. Big young guy, but still unsure of his personality. Again, the Jags. They are rebuilding on the back of a workhouse runner in Mo-Jo Drew. The question for both is- do they have enough to make it to a championship?
- Houston Texans: Evan Bourne. Fun to watch. Exciting. High-octane. High-flying. Hasn't won anything, but everyone in the business likes where they are going, even if they haven't fully lived up to the hype yet. A perfect match.
- Tennessee Titans: Christian. Moments of glory in the past. IC titles, AFC title. Shots at being the guy, but just never worked out. Consistently OK, the perfect mid-card performer with some attitude. That sums up the Titans and Christian. Of course, Tennessee is going through some serious rebuilding right now, and Christian just came back from tearing his bicep (yes, he actually tore his bicep, wrestlers do get actual injuries). We aren't sure what will come of the two in the next year.
The NFL vs The WWE- Part II- AFC North
On to Part II- The AFC North:
- Pittsburgh Steelers- Edge. Established champions on every level and for a long time. Talk a lot, have a ton of fire and passion, and back it up. Is just as happy if you boo or cheer. A perfect fit for the Steelers. They are just as confident, cocky, decorated and dangerous as the current World Champion. Sure, Clay Matthews helped Edge out on TV. His personality is still more like Pittsburgh. Oh, and let's not forget his nickname- "The Rated- R Superstar". Sounds like something that could apply to Big Ben also?
- Baltimore Ravens- Randy Orton. Again, a proven champion, and always a consistent and real threat. The only problem is that sometimes winning takes a back seat for a second. Instead, they are concerned with retribution and hurting people. Randy Orton is always looking for a chance to punt someone in the head or deliver his RKO finisher. The Ravens hit harder than any team, even if it means drawing penalties.
- Cleveland Browns- Hornswoggle. Yes, I think the Browns are the most like a leprechaun. Why not? They are lovable jobbers that pull out an occasional upset. Sounds just like the little guy to me. Not competing on the same level as the Ravens or Steelers at this point, but somehow finds a way to win some games and endear themselves to the fans. Cleveland loves the Browns no matter what. The WWE Universe loves Hornswoggle.
- Cincinnati Bengals- Doink the Clown. Pretty self-explanatory. They are jokes. Clowns. We talk about them more for their crazy off the field issues and antics than we do about their football. Ochocinco and TO were just as fun as Doink and his sidekick Dink. They played just as well too, and the Bungles had another terrible season.
- Pittsburgh Steelers- Edge. Established champions on every level and for a long time. Talk a lot, have a ton of fire and passion, and back it up. Is just as happy if you boo or cheer. A perfect fit for the Steelers. They are just as confident, cocky, decorated and dangerous as the current World Champion. Sure, Clay Matthews helped Edge out on TV. His personality is still more like Pittsburgh. Oh, and let's not forget his nickname- "The Rated- R Superstar". Sounds like something that could apply to Big Ben also?
- Baltimore Ravens- Randy Orton. Again, a proven champion, and always a consistent and real threat. The only problem is that sometimes winning takes a back seat for a second. Instead, they are concerned with retribution and hurting people. Randy Orton is always looking for a chance to punt someone in the head or deliver his RKO finisher. The Ravens hit harder than any team, even if it means drawing penalties.
- Cleveland Browns- Hornswoggle. Yes, I think the Browns are the most like a leprechaun. Why not? They are lovable jobbers that pull out an occasional upset. Sounds just like the little guy to me. Not competing on the same level as the Ravens or Steelers at this point, but somehow finds a way to win some games and endear themselves to the fans. Cleveland loves the Browns no matter what. The WWE Universe loves Hornswoggle.
- Cincinnati Bengals- Doink the Clown. Pretty self-explanatory. They are jokes. Clowns. We talk about them more for their crazy off the field issues and antics than we do about their football. Ochocinco and TO were just as fun as Doink and his sidekick Dink. They played just as well too, and the Bungles had another terrible season.
The NFL vs the WWE- Part I - AFC East
So, after the Super Bowl, some NFL players found their way onto televised professional wrestling. First, it was champion linebacker Clay Matthews on WWE Smackdown. Now, it is Bart Scott on TNA Impact. Well, being a fan of both football and wrestling (a guilty pleasure, deal with it), I decided to combine the two. Here now is Part I of my NFL/WWE comparison. Each team gets a wrestle, stable or organization that best suits their personality, character or history. We will start with the AFC:
AFC EAST
- New England Patriots: HHH. The Game. The Cerebral Assassin. One of the best at what he does. This is a perfect fit for the Pats. If any coach could be called the Cerebral Assassin, it would have to be Bill Belichick. Tom Brady has won rings just like HHH was won titles. Both have been gone recently- New England not making it back to the Super Bowl after losing to the Giants, and HHH out with injuries, filming a movie, raising a family and becoming more involved back stage. But they are always a threat for a comeback, because they are some of the best ever.
- New York Jets: TNA Wrestling. It is good when there is competition. It makes the entire business better. So it is good for the WWE that TNA Wrestling exists. It is good for the NFL when the Jets are good. The same things can be said of TNA and the Jets- They try to put on a competitive product. They can have exciting moments combining young up-and-comers with some stars from the past that other organizations would call washed up. They can talk with the best of them and promise victory over their rivals and ultimate glory. There is just one problem: In the end, they can't back up the talk. They trip up. They place the bar too high. They try to play the same game as the big boys, and just can't do it. The Jets talk a ton, but have won nothing. TNA openly bashes WWE, and gets smoked in the ratings and PPV buy-rates. It is only a matter of time before they flame out or fold.
- Miami Dolphins: Mr. Perfect/Michael McGillicutty. Mr. Perfect was a great wrestler and claimed to be perfect at everything. The Dolphins had a perfect season. They have a great past and legacy. Even if they weren't winning a ton of championships, they were always competitive. However, eventually Dan Marino retired, leaving a struggling Dolphins organization that has yet to recover, though they show some young promise. Likewise, Mr. Perfect (real name Curt Henning) passed away, leaving his son to carry on his tradition. I have no idea why he doesn't wrestle under his own name and adopted McGillicutty, but much like the Dolphins he is struggling to find his identity and place in the business.
- Buffalo Bills: Santino Marella. The Bills had a great run at one point. 4 straight AFC championships, which is like winning the Intercontinental Title belt. Santino has had some success also, winning the IC Title a few times, as well as the Tag Team title. However, in reality, they are laughingstocks. Not in a mean way. We feel bad for them and wish that they found their old success, but we can't help but smile at their zany antics. Speak with a funny Italian accent and mime playing a trombone when you win? Wonderful. Passing on Brian Orakpo, Clay Matthews and Michael Oher to take Aaron Maybin in the draft, and refusing to spend high picks on an offensive line? Hilarious. We hope that they can turn the corner. We sincerely do. But till then, we have to keep chuckling at their misfortune.
AFC EAST
- New England Patriots: HHH. The Game. The Cerebral Assassin. One of the best at what he does. This is a perfect fit for the Pats. If any coach could be called the Cerebral Assassin, it would have to be Bill Belichick. Tom Brady has won rings just like HHH was won titles. Both have been gone recently- New England not making it back to the Super Bowl after losing to the Giants, and HHH out with injuries, filming a movie, raising a family and becoming more involved back stage. But they are always a threat for a comeback, because they are some of the best ever.
- New York Jets: TNA Wrestling. It is good when there is competition. It makes the entire business better. So it is good for the WWE that TNA Wrestling exists. It is good for the NFL when the Jets are good. The same things can be said of TNA and the Jets- They try to put on a competitive product. They can have exciting moments combining young up-and-comers with some stars from the past that other organizations would call washed up. They can talk with the best of them and promise victory over their rivals and ultimate glory. There is just one problem: In the end, they can't back up the talk. They trip up. They place the bar too high. They try to play the same game as the big boys, and just can't do it. The Jets talk a ton, but have won nothing. TNA openly bashes WWE, and gets smoked in the ratings and PPV buy-rates. It is only a matter of time before they flame out or fold.
- Miami Dolphins: Mr. Perfect/Michael McGillicutty. Mr. Perfect was a great wrestler and claimed to be perfect at everything. The Dolphins had a perfect season. They have a great past and legacy. Even if they weren't winning a ton of championships, they were always competitive. However, eventually Dan Marino retired, leaving a struggling Dolphins organization that has yet to recover, though they show some young promise. Likewise, Mr. Perfect (real name Curt Henning) passed away, leaving his son to carry on his tradition. I have no idea why he doesn't wrestle under his own name and adopted McGillicutty, but much like the Dolphins he is struggling to find his identity and place in the business.
- Buffalo Bills: Santino Marella. The Bills had a great run at one point. 4 straight AFC championships, which is like winning the Intercontinental Title belt. Santino has had some success also, winning the IC Title a few times, as well as the Tag Team title. However, in reality, they are laughingstocks. Not in a mean way. We feel bad for them and wish that they found their old success, but we can't help but smile at their zany antics. Speak with a funny Italian accent and mime playing a trombone when you win? Wonderful. Passing on Brian Orakpo, Clay Matthews and Michael Oher to take Aaron Maybin in the draft, and refusing to spend high picks on an offensive line? Hilarious. We hope that they can turn the corner. We sincerely do. But till then, we have to keep chuckling at their misfortune.
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